I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
