So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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