are you still at the devil's house?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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