You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
