the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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