do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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