I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
last night I used snow as a chaser
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