I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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