omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we made out on top of his cat.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
