I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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