Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
