Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
