Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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