If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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