I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she peed on how many people?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
