I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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