This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
