either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
