Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize