Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize