We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
