He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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