I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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