i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize