is your mom at the bar?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize