Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
