Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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