he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
