she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
