if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
