This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
high people should be assigned attendants
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
