You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
