haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
