No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
