btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
