He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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