Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
