I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
