turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
