3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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