Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
