she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
