worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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