I showed him my bush... on skype.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
