you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
