its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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