Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
