you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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