The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
don't judge my taste in strippers
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
