i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
