it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
