I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
