Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
worst night to have a conscience
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
