ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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