I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
