I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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