C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize