We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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