Pappa wants mamma naked
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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