Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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