I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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