Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
