I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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